All Cheerleaders Die (2013)

Directed By – Lucky McKee & Chris Sivertson

Screenplay By – Lucky McKee & Chris Sivertson

Cinematography By – Who gives a crap

Starring Bad Actors

89 minutes but feels like 2 weeks.

My friend who I respect recommended this movie, I still have respect for him but I’m now not sure if I can call him a friend. This is a total shit-pancake. I feel like it is only campy because they realized during post-production that this movie sucked and the only way they could save it is by making fun of themselves. The movie’s first 3 minutes (where a cheerleader falls on her head and breaks her neck) is really interesting and it just goes way way downhill from there. Watch the first 3 minutes and then stop, dear god, stop watching after that.

Like there is a ton of lesbian stuff that happens in this movie and yet no boobs, like a TON of lesbian stuff and no boobs. How? Clearly its audience is stupid blood-thirsty fanboys because the main characters are all lesbians but your not going to show boobs?

The acting is just horrendous. The special effects are terrible, terrible, terrible. And then most of the death scenes are cutaways and they only show the aftermath. The difference between a movie like this and Re-Animator is that Re-Animator knew what it was and went balls-to-the-wall with it, using Psycho’s theme, using ounces and ounces of blood. It also had decent acting and a fun story.

All Cheerleaders Die is just plain awful. I hated this movie and am glad I will never have to watch this movie again.

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