The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (2014)

Directed By – Peter Jackson

Screenplay By – Fran Walsh, Philippa Boyens, Peter Jackson & Guillermo del Toro

Cinematography By – Andrew Lesnie

Starring Martin Freeman, Ian McKellen & Richard Armitage

144 min.

When I saw the first Hobbit movie I was pretty pissed because it was boring and made me just want to watch a trilogy of much better movies called The Lord of the Rings. When I saw the second Hobbit movie I thought “okay, the dragon is awesome” and there were plenty of fairly good moments in The Desolation of Smaug. So I figured Peter Jackson wanted to make three movies so that this third movie could be the coolest thing ever. Unfortunately, The Battle of the Five Armies is totally lackluster and without a point.

What kills me, KILLS ME, is that Jackson made three incredible movies out of three incredible books with The Lord of the Rings trilogy, yet decided to make three movies out of one book with The Hobbit. J.R.R. knew that Bilbo’s tale was worthy of only one book, but sadly Jackson thought he knew better than the original creator. Dammit Peter.

The Battle of the Five Armies is an entertaining blockbuster and will keep your attention for the long runtime of 144 minutes, but there is no reason why I would ever ever ever rewatch this or any of the other Hobbit movies. This is completely different feeling than what I have with The Lord of the Rings trilogy which I revisit about once a year.

The Hobbit would have made one hell of a movie (SINGULAR), a movie that would (or at least should) have paralleled in greatness to The Lord of the Rings trilogy. Two movies would have been pushing it. A now that all is said and done, three movies would make an amazing book into a joke of a trilogy.

Hollywood please please please learn from Peter Jackson that no one book should ever be turned into three movies, your two-part scheme is already over the top.

God Bless America

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